By Vivian Mabuni
The book proposal about my cancer journey cleared the final review step at a publishing house last month. Thinking back to where I was last year at this time I marvel at this new writing world I’ve entered. Writing was not on my radar before cancer. Cancer was an instrument used to bring out the writer part in me. And isn’t it just like God to redeem for good something as awful as cancer? Now I know terms like: query letters, proposals, publishing houses, and literary agents.
But I have to be honest. The whole process overwhelms me.
I scan websites and read the blogs about the writing world and this heavy sigh comes out of the deepest place in my soul. That familiar feeling of inadequacy, of not being _______ enough, of being way in over my head. Part of me wants to fall into a hole and just take a long nap.
But on the phone, during the pause before a connecting flight to his ministry meetings, my husband, Darrin, shared wise words that brought perspective and hope.
“We don’t have control over how the Lord blesses or gifts us. We are stewards of what He shows us to do and to be. This (the writing) for you is an act of worship.”
An act of worship. That changes everything. It alleviates the pressure of having to “make it happen” or control the outcome of this whole crazy adventure. Darrin encouraged me to just write. Where God takes this whole book thing is completely in His hands. When I first started blogging during cancer treatment, every entry felt like an act of worship. I wrote from my heart and there was no striving. No proof-reading. It was holy ground. I have much to learn about the nuts and bolts of writing and trust that those things will come as I continue writing, but more important is the posture of my heart.
This act of worship spills over into every area of life. In the mountains of unending laundry, the helping with homework, walking the dog, conversations with the neighbor, the everything of the everyday. Stewarding well our lives, our experiences, our relationships, our stuff, is a form of worship.
My prayer for myself and other writers is that we would hold in our heart and keep front and center writing, querying, proposal submitting, learning the publishing world, all of it is an act of worship.
May He be lifted high.